


She feels like home

by TheReckless1611



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-09
Updated: 2016-07-09
Packaged: 2018-07-22 11:38:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7436372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheReckless1611/pseuds/TheReckless1611
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke convinces Lexa to spend a few weeks with her in Arkadia so she can get to know Skaikru's culture. Bellamy is jealous while Raven tries to find out why she heard moans coming from Clarke's room, but things change when Azgeda attacks the coalition once again.</p><p>I suck at summaries, please forgive me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She feels like home

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry about any grammar errors, english is not my first language.

Lexa looked to the blonde riding a horse next to her. She extended her leg, bumping her feet against the girl’s. Clarke stared at Lexa and smiled lightly. Lexa had that effect on her. Every time they locked eyes she couldn’t help but smile and Clarke knew she had the same effect over the commander, the only difference was that Lexa had way more self-control than Clarke. The blonde would catch herself staring at Lexa dreamingly during the council meetings or when she attended her subjects one by one, hearing their troubles and needs. Those were the times in which Lexa went full on commander mode and even though Clarke loved the vulnerable and lovable Lexa she couldn't help but notice how unfairly sexy Lexa looked sitting on her throne as the fearless leader she was.

But little Clarke knew that Lexa was scared to the bone, that’s why she got Clarke's attention looking for a smile, a reassurance of why she was riding a horse to Arkadia. 

Lexa felt nervous from the second Clarke invited her to go back to Arkadia with her. According to the blonde it was a good idea to get to know the Skaikru culture now that they were the 13th clan. The commander couldn't say that her girlfriend was wrong, actually it made every sense. Clarke got to know the grounder culture as a ambassador and Lexa knew the peculiarities of every clan but the Skaikru. As the commander it was her duty to understand her own people. 

Clarke was right but it also meant she would eventually meet Abby and the others as more than just the commander; she would have to introduce herself as Lexa, Clarke’s girlfriend. She would have said yes to the idea of going to Arkadia anyway, but the fact that Clarke proposed the Idea to her as she kissed up Lexa’s naked inner thighs was unfair. 

“Are we going to tell them?” Lexa almost whispered one night before they fell asleep. 

“I’d like that, but only if you feel comfortable about it.” Clarke answered softly. She could feel the blonde’s fingers tracing random patterns against her stomach, head laying on Lexa's chest. 

“I think we should Tell only to the one’s you care about the most, Clarke. People may take advantage of you to get to me… I can’t…” Lexa fumbled with her words. “If something happens to you, Clarke… I don’t think I could take it.”

Clarke hugged Lexa tighter as she heard the older woman’s words getting caught in her throat. She knew about what had happened to Costia and how it still hunted Lexa. The blonde had lost count of how many times she had to calm a nervous Lexa in the middle of the night after being awakened by nightmares about Costia’s head being delivered to her bed. Under the tough skin that accept Azgeda into the coalition even after murdering her lover, Lexa blamed herself for Costia’s death. Maybe if she had protected her more, maybe if she had kept their relationship a secret. 

Lexa knew she would have fallen for Clarke anyways - the Skaikru ambassador was like a star bursting right iN front of Lexa’s eyes. She was strong, selfless and fearless. A hero and a leader to her people. Clarke was unique, she was especial. - but at least she would still have her best friend next to her. Costia would have loved Clarke, she was sure about that. 

“I understand.” Clarke whispered. She wasn't mad for Lexa wanting to keep their relationship as a secret, she was glad Lexa had opened up to her. “We will only Tell the one's we… I care about.” Clarke corrected herself, remembering Lexa had no one else but Indra, who was already aware of the commander’s new lover. - it hurt Lexa like hell, but she couldn’t let Titus go unpunished after trying to kill Clarke. He was still alive given that jus drein jus daun was no longer their politics, but Clarke was sure they wouldn't hear about him anymore.

“Thank you, Clarke.”

That’s what had lead them to that moment; horses held quiet as they waited for the tall steel gates of Arkadia to open. 

“Hey…” Clarke got Lexa's attention. “Relax. Everything is going to be okay.”

“I am relaxed, Clarke.” Lexa said stiffly, causing Clarke to laugh at how bad of a liar Lexa could be. 

“Whatever you say, commander.” The blonde smirked as they walked through the gates. 

Clarke loved Polis cause it meant she was next to Lexa, but God she had missed her home. She used to hear that home is where the heart is. Clarke though it was a stupid saying. There isn’t just one kind of love. Clarke felt home with Lexa just like she felt home with her mom, Bellamy, Raven, Octavia… there was a little piece of her heart with everyone she cared about, even the ones who were dead, even with the one's she had to kill herself. Everywhere was home, Arkadia just felt more familiar. It was where she had grown up after all. 

“Clarke!” Raven shouted, trying to walk as fast as she could. Clarke dismounted her horse and ran into Raven, hugging her tightly. “I'm glad you’re back. You would be surprised about how many stupid things these people do when you’re not around.”

“I can imagine.” Clarke smiled and pulled away from the hug. “I missed you.”

Lexa also dismounted her horse and walked towards the girls. The last time she had seen Raven she had the girl tied to a tree and suffering the pain of 300 deaths. Lexa didn’t expect Raven to be nice towards her , she had punished her and demanded Finn’s death after all. 

“I believe you remember Lexa.” Clarke said awkwardly. “She will be expending some time with us.”

“How could I forget.” Raven smiled with sarcasm. “I hope you don’t try to kill me this time.”

“That’s not the reason why I’m here, Raven.” Lexa answered, full on commander mode. “My objective is to blend in and learn about your culture.”

“Well then, welcome to Arkadia where most people are stupid and can't get their shit together.” 

“Their shit together?” Lexa looked at Clarke confused. “That sounds incredibly unwise and disgusting.”

“It’s just a saying. It means they can’t figure themselves out.” Clarke explained while Raven looked at Lexa with an amused grin. The mechanic would use Lexa’s lack of knowledge about their culture for her amusement, Clarke was certain about that. 

“Princess!” A low voice shouted, getting the girls attention. 

“Bellamy!” Clarke ran into the man’s arms, hugging him tight and long before kissing him on the cheek. 

Lexa watched, face stoic like a rock but jaw clenching tightly. It was no news she wasn't found of the one they called Bellamy. Clarke cared about him too much for Lexa’s liking. It was clear how much the blonde trusted Bellamy. Jealousy was not the product of a strong mind, Lexa was taught, but she couldn't help but feel uneasy when Clarke was next to Bellamy. She trusted Clarke but she sure didn't trusted Bellamy, even though he had been useful in Mount Weather. Trusting him in war was different from trusting him in life itself.

Raven grinned as she watched Lexa’s reaction to Bellamy and Clarke together. The commander’s back went more stiff than she thought it was possible as she raised her chin, trying to look bigger just like an animal trying to intimidate its enemy. Lexa's hand went down to the dagger in her waist, her knuckles going white from the tight grip.

 _This will be interesting._ Raven thought, smirking. 

***

“Are the clothes really necessary?” Lexa asked, placing her arms through the sleeves of a plaid flannel shirt. She was allowed to keep her pants and combat boots, but Clarke had borrowed her a flannel and a tank top that was too loose on her chest. Lexa didn't like to be without her gear in a foreign place, it made her feel unprotected.

“I went with the grounder look while I was in Polis.” Clarke smiled, putting on her faithful grey long sleeved shirt that showed way more cleavage than necessary. The blonde saw Lexa’s eyes falling to her chest briefly as she blushed. Clarke though it was cute how Lexa still blushed at small things like that even after how intimate they had been and still were.

“That's because the clothes you were in when you arrived were disgustingly dirty, Clarke.”

“Come on. It wasn't that bad.” Clarke pouted, fixing Lexa's shirt.

“It smelled like horse feces and death, Clarke. It was unsanitary.” Lexa smirked and leaned in, pecking Clarke’s lips softly. 

Clarke let herself melt into the kiss, taking Lexa’s bottom lip between hers. It didn’t mattered how many times the older girl kissed her or how intense or simple was the kiss, Clarke would feel her knees going weak every single time. The great Wanheda getting all soft because Heda touched her. It was ridiculous to say the least, but Clarke couldn’t care less.

The door suddenly opened, causing Lexa to jump far away from Clarke, back going straight and stiff as her hands held each other behind her back. Clarke held in a laugh watching Lexa go commander mode wearing a flannel shirt. It looked strangely cute. 

Abby walked into the room and Clarke threw herself in her mother’s arms.

 _Skaikru likes to hug a lot._ Lexa made a mental note. She was there to learn their culture after all. 

“Commander.” Abby turned to Lexa after letting go of her daughter's embrace. “Would you mind excusing us for a second. I need to talk to Clarke in private.”

“Of course, chancellor Griffin.” Lexa nodded politely. “I’ll be outside exploring the site. Excuse me.” 

Lexa left the two alone. Clarke smiled at how Lexa acted more politely than she was used to in a try to impress her mother. 

“Why is she in here, Clarke?” Abby asked dryly. “I know we are under her protection now that we are the 13th clan, but I still don't trust her.”

“Mom, you may not trust her, but trust me when I tell you that Lexa is not going to do anything against us.” Clarke reassured, remembering the night after the summit in which Lexa bowed down. The commander didn’t bowed to anyone, but there she was on her knees in front of Clarke swearing fealty to Skaikru but mainly to Clarke. She would never hurt Clarke and doing something against her people meant losing her. They were safe as long as Lexa was the commander. 

“How can you be so sure? She betrayed you in Mount Weather. She betrayed us, let us all to die.” Abby said annoyed. “You can’t tell me you put that behind you because I didn’t. Thanks to her I spent three months not knowing where my daughter was or if she was even alive.”

“I didn't put it behind me mom.” Clarke answered, raising her chin and straightening her back just like Lexa taught her to do. According to the commander it intimidates the enemy and reassured your power and position. “But Lexa showed me that it was the right thing to do for her people. Let’s not fool ourselves, I would have done the same to my people. Actually I did it, I betrayed my friends, it just took me a little longer to realize it.” 

“That's not true, Clarke. She manipulated you to think that way and you know it.”

“Maybe. But it doesn’t change the fact that I came to understand her decision at Mount Weather. Lexa’s responsibility as the commander is to protect and serve her people. I don’t blame her for doing what she was born to do.” Clarke defended her girlfriend. Lexa could fend for herself, but while she wasn't in there Clarke was ready to show everyone who the commander truly was. 

“I still don't trust nor like her. I think you should stay away from her for a while.”

“I’m scared that won’t be possible, mom. Either you like it or not Lexa is staying here with me for as long as she pleases. I told you this once, mom. You might be chancellor, but I’m in charge.” 

Clarke left the room, leaving her mom by herself and went to take a walk, looking for Lexa. The blonde was decided to tell her mom about her and Lexa from the second she saw Abby getting into the room, but the doctor’s words changed her mind. Telling her now would only cause troubles and neither Clarke nor Lexa needed that. For once they were at peace and she wanted to enjoy it as much as she could. Clarke was sure Lexa would eventually grow on Abby just like she grew on Clarke. It was impossible not to fall for Lexa once she let her guard down, but that was the problem, Lexa never let her guard down for anyone that wasn't Clarke Griffin. 

Clarke found Lexa at the common room with Raven, the mechanic talking while offering a metal cup to the confused looking commander. She could see from a mile away how much Raven was having fun with Lexa’s lack of knowledge about their culture. She made a mental note not to leave Lexa and Raven alone, scared of what Raven might teach the grounder.

“What are you doing to the commander, Rae?” Clarke smiled, sitting next to Lexa. 

“I’m just introducing her to Monty’s moonshine.” Raven smirked.

“She’s just trying to get you drunk.” Clarke rolled her eyes, taking the cup away from Lexa. “Raven loves drunk people.”

“Why would that be?” Lexa turned back to Raven. “Alcohol intoxicated people usually have no control over their actions nor emotions whatsoever.”

“That’s exactly why. Drunk people tend to show their true selves.”

“That is an interesting though.” Lexa nodded.

Clarke smiled to herself, remembering about Lexa’s drunk self. The commander wasn’t used to drinking so a few glasses of wine were enough to get her really tipsy. She loved drunk Lexa. She loved how she would be a total bottom and let Clarke be in charge in bed or how she would speak without thinking first.

“I do not care about your people, they are idiots.” Drunk Lexa mumbled once while they cuddled after sex. “They have no understanding of politics or what’s necessary to keep themselves alive and safe. I mean, you save everyone over and over and instead of thanking you and seeing you for the hero you are they keep on blaming you for the unavoidable consequences.” Clarke smiled, listening to her girlfriend’s words in amusement.“They could all die for all I care. I just kneeled to you and promised to protect them cause I never again want to have to choose between you and my people.” 

That was the night Clarke realized once and for all that she adored Lexa, all of her. She adored Lexa when she was acting like the commander she had grown to be, leading her people wisely and with a strong grip. She adored Lexa when they were together and she would let her guard down, glancing at Clarke, smiling at her, stealing pecks, falling asleep while Clarke draw her or when they would get into a bathtub together and Lexa would lean into her embrace, the tattooed back pressed against Clarke’s front. She adored tipsy Lexa that would speak without thinking and let Clarke take control in bed, letting out little whimpers and moans that made the blonde smile and her heart beat stronger. 

She adored all of her. She loved all of her, even thought she hadn't said it yet.

“Look who’s here.” A thin and tall boy approached them. He had his hair shaved and Lexa couldn’t help but notice how bitter and fragile he looked. “The great Wanheda.”

“Jasper…” Clare mumbled.

“When I heard you were back I couldn’t help but ask myself how you had the courage to show your face here after what you have done…” Jasper spit angrily. Clarke looked down as Lexa could see the tears trying to make their way into the blonde’s eyes. “I was going to save everyone and you just killed them. You’re a monster, Clarke.”

“I think you should measure your words and reevaluate your position before opening your mouth about Clarke.” Lexa stood up, stepping between Clarke and Jasper. “It doesn’t take more than just a simple look at you to realize that you are not capable of saving anyone.”

“I was capable of saving them!” Jasper shouted into Lexa’s face. Clarke flinched behind the commander, but Lexa didn’t move one single muscle. “She killed everyone! She killed Maia!”

“And you would have died too if it wasn’t for Clarke. All of you would be dead.” Lexa almost growled, making Jasper take a step back. “So if I were you I would not judge others based on feelings and lack of knowledge of reality. We were at war and the fact that you ignored it is one more proof of your weakness.”

“Who are you?” Jasper’s voice was shaking.

“Commander?” Lexa turned her head towards the voice as Lincoln approached them with Octavia by his side.

“You are the commander?” Jasper’s eyes widened.

“And you were offending one of my ambassadors.”

Jasper stepped away, eyes wide and mouth agape, completely intimidated by the commander. It wasn't just about her words, it was about the way she said them - almost in an animal growl - and how confident and powerful she looked even when not dressed as a grounder. Lexa exhaled power. 

The commander nodded to Lincoln’s direction, getting an angry glare from Octavia - she was clearly still pissed about the death order Lexa had put to enforce a blockade around Arkadia to force them to defeat Pike - before turning around to find that Clarke was gone. 

“She went outside.” Raven answered, realizing Lexa’s confused look.

“Thank you.” Lexa nodded before walking away.

Arkadia was different from Polis in many ways, but it was similar in many others. Lexa hadn’t seen any traders, there were less people and only a few kids here and there. Agriculture was growing around the main station within walls, but that would soon change since Lexa had granted them a few fertile lands for agriculture. The Skaikru was finally living in peace and Lexa couldn't help but smile thinking that it was all because of Clarke.

Lexa knew Clarke's whole story. They talked a lot about life on the Ark and how it started to die. Clarke told her about how an immature Bellamy had put so many people in danger and how she had managed to change his mind in order to contact the Ark and save everyone else. Lexa knew about how close Clarke and Bellamy had become by being the leaders to their people and it bothered Lexa.

It bothered Lexa because it didn't mattered how much she and Clarke would go through or how much they would fight for their people, Bellamy would always be the one who was there for Clarke from day one while Lexa would be the one who sent 300 warriors to kill them. 

Lexa would always feel like she owed Clarke for the things she had done that hurt her or her people even though she knew that her actions were at least reasonable given her position as the commander. She knew how to separate her feelings from duty, but it didn’t meant she didn't felt hunted afterwards. 

And it bothered Lexa when she finally found a crying Clarke sitting in a bench next to the electric fence while Bellamy had an arm around her waist and one hand holding Clarke’s. The sky girl was grasping the man's hand with both of her own desperately as her head rested against his chest, looking for comfort. 

Lexa took a deep breath, back going stiff and hands getting into fists before walking closer to the couple.

“Clarke, may I speak with you?” Lexa tried to sound as calm as possible. 

“She doesn’t want to speak with you, commander.” Bellamy spit. Even tough Pike was long gone he still believe that all grounders were the same. He indeed had a especial hate for the commander for leaving them at Mount Weather and forcing him to turn his back to the ones who had helped them and their People. In Bellamy’s point of view Lexa was nothing but a selfish and honor less grounder.

“I believe Clarke can speak for herself, Bellamy.” Lexa stepped into Bellamy who stood up, showing himself a little taller than the commander. 

“It’s okay, Bell.” Clarke mumbled and her tear filled eyes almost made Lexa loose her intimidating posture. 

“I’ll be near if you need me.” Bellamy answered, not tearing his eyes away from Lexa before walking away. 

Lexa sat down next to Clarke where Bellamy used to be, but didn't touched her. Lexa knew that Clarke didn't liked being touched when she was upset and the fact that she was leaning against Bellamy so naturally made her chest ache. 

“Clarke…”

“I don’t need you to protect me, Lexa.” Clarke said bitterly, making Lexa’s stiff pose melt away into a vulnerable one.

“I know.” Lexa almost whispered. “But I also know you, Clarke. I know that you didn’t stood up to Jasper because you believe he’s right, because you believe you are a monster.” Lexa carefully reached for Clarke's hand and more tears fell from the blonde’s eyes. “But you are not a monster, Clarke. You never were. You are a leader. I know there is a fine line between being a leader and being a bad person and that you need to cross it often in order to do what is best for the ones we must protect, but that does not mean you are a monster. That night in Mount Weather we both had to make big decisions. I had to choose between being the leader my people needs and that I was born to be or being by your side every step of the way and being your lover. You, on the other hand, had to choose between being weak and giving up or being the leader that your people trusted you to be. You are not weak, Clarke. You never were.” Lexa got closer to Clarke, both of her hands cupping the blonde's cheeks tenderly. “I once told you that victory stands in the back of sacrifice. Sometimes we have to sacrifice our friends, our families and loved ones. But sometimes we have to sacrifice ourselves, the person we used to be. That’s what you did, Clarke. That night you sacrificed yourself for your people. You made the hard choice so they could live and from that moment on you weren’t just Clarke anymore. You became stronger than ever. You became the person you were born to be: a wise leader that does everything within her reach for the ones she loves, not a monster. Never a monster.”

Clarke couldn't find the words in her, so she just pulled Lexa into a tight and long hug. Lexa understood her like anyone else because they were in the same position. They were both trying to protect their people, both fighting for peace, both looking for a world in which everyone was safe and they no longer owned anything more to their people. Lexa believed in every single word she had said, now Clarke had to believe in it too and she wanted that, she needed that. Good thing that being next to the commander, the one person who seemed to actually see her as a hero to her people, made everything easier. 

“Thanks, Lexa.” Clarke whispered. 

***

Clarke woke up to an empty cold spot beside her. She was used to it, Lexa would always wake up before her either she had 'commander things’ to do or not. Normally Lexa would be either taking a walk around Polis, running through the woods or training with the natblidas. She was always doing something, always busy and even though she admired how the commander was always taking care of her people she couldn't help but wonder if the girl didn't get tired or stressed. She knew she felt drained for being a leader to Skaikru and she usually had some time to stop and take her time.

The sky girl stood up from her bed, cold air hitting her naked body. Even when they didn't had sex they were used to sleeping wearing nothing but their skin. That was not the case last night and Clarke felt glad that the Ark’s steel walls were as thick as they could get. If it wasn't for Lexa’s words and gentle touches Clarke was sure she wouldn’t be able to sleep, not after what Jasper had told her. She used to think that the best way to get over her demons was by herself. Little did she knew she needed Lexa’s help until she got it. 

Clarke took a quick and warm bath and headed outside. Lexa could take care of herself but Clarke felt worried nonetheless. Her friends - specially Raven - could be a little invasive and she knew Lexa loved boundaries. It took ages for Clarke to break down the commander’s walls once and for all. 

After going into the woods for a run and a dive into the lake, Lexa went back to Arkadia feeling refreshed. She could be a warrior but sex with Clarke always took a tool on her. 

Now all she could focuse on was the girl making candles in front of her.

Lexa watched Harper with careful eyes, taking in every word the blonde would tell her. She loved to learn new things and her heart almost stopped when she approached the girl with curiosity and Harper answered she was making scented candles. 

“Candles can have scents?” Lexa asked, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. 

“Yes.” Harper smiled. “Sit, I’ll teach you.”

Lexa watched Harper’s every movement with curious eyes, taking in every step and mimicking the girl’s actions carefully. 

“Enough with the girly thing.” Raven approached Lexa. “Time to have a real lesson.” 

“I am still learning with Harper.” Lexa’s smile faded slightly. She wanted to keep working on candles.

“It’s ok. It's already done. Now you just need to wait the wax harden. You can go with Rae and I’ll bring you your candles once it’s done.” Harper smiled and Lexa stood up relutanctly. “It was nice getting to know you, Lexa.” 

“Thank you for the knowledge, Harper.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever, let’s go make things go boom.” Raven threw her arm around Lexa's shoulders, feeling the commander tense underneath it and pulling her towards her shop. 

Raven was sure Lexa didn't cared about science, she didn't even had the patience to teach the commander everything from the start, but truth was she wanted some alone time with Lexa. There was something more between Clarke and Lexa and Raven was dying to find out. She had noticed some sort of jealousy in Lexa’s actions every time Bellamy was around and she was sure she had heard moans coming from Clarke's room last night. 

The two girls could trick everyone into thinking they were just two leaders bonding, but Raven wasn't dumb. Far from that, she was a fucking genius. 

“Are you sure people will like it if I tell them that?” Lexa asked confused after Raven taught her some awful pick up line.

“Of course. But you can only say it to people you actually like like.”

“Like like?” Lexa was getting more confused by the second. Raven talked in a weird way. Clarke had taught her a few sayings of her people, but Raven was in a whole new level. 

“Yeah. Someone you’ve been or want to be intimate with, if you know what I mean.” Raven wiggled her eyebrows at Lexa, opening the shop’s door. “Welcome to paradise.”

Lexa looked around confused. That place was nothing but a bunch of scrapped metal, wires and weird looking tools; she could not see that as paradise. She would rather keep on doing candles with Harper, but Lexa wanted to get to know not only the Sky People culture, but also Clarke's friends. She didn't need to like them; she just had to know them just like she knew her own people. After all, Skaikru was also her people now. 

“Basically we use gunpowder and hydrazine, but hydrazine is too aggressive for a newbie like you.” Raven smirked, placing some gunpowder on her work desk and sticking two wires into it. Lexa tough about asking what 'newbie’ meant, but she gave up once Raven pressed a buttom and the black powder exploded.

Lexa jumped back, startled, going for the dagger in her boot. Raven laughed loudly at the commander's reaction. It amused her how such a simple thing as combustion could make someone so scared.

“What was that?” Lexa asked, eyes wide.

“That was chemistry!” Raven smirked. “Basically there are a few substances in nature and science found a way to manipulate it into the man's needs.” 

“Like a sword.” Lexa nodded, face going back to normal. “Like melting iron into a sword.”

“You are a quick learner. I see why Clarke likes you.” Lexa raised her chin at Raven’s worlds, trying to look unaffected but unable to hide the blush that painted her cheeks. 

_Jackpot._

“Is this how you destroyed the bridge?” Lexa tried to change the subject and Raven nodded. “Can we make a bigger 'boom’?” Lexa held in a smirk. The 'boom’ as Raven called was scary, but also fascinating.

“We are the same, you and I.” Raven smirked. “But let’s go with some smaller stuff for a while.” The mechanic stood up and went to prepare another explosion. She was dying to blow things up, but she needed a little more time alone with Lexa. “You and Clarke are pretty close right?”

“She is one of my ambassadors. We have a lot of conversations.” Lexa tried to avoid the question, knowing that Raven was too smart to get satisfied by that kind of answer. 

“Did she told you anything about Bellamy?” Raven watched as the commander’s expression hardened with the name. “I thing they would be a great couple. I mean, they are very close, practically best friends. They were together from the beginning. It would be good for them both to have someone that would understand what they went through.” 

“I do not know, Raven. Maybe you should ask Clarke.” Lexa answered coldly. “But I am not sure if Bellamy is the best for her. He judges her, he doesn't understand her reasons. He doesn't think like a leader. Clarke is special. She elevates herself. He wouldn't be able to keep up.” Lexa didn't believe her own words. She wouldn't be able to keep up with Clarke and she understood Raven's point of view. Bellamy was there as an ally when Lexa was the threat to their people.

“He's not a leader? Is that an actual reason?” Raven laughed. “Who would be good for her then? You?”

“Love is weakness.” Lexa said almost automatically. “To be commander is to be alone.” 

“That doesn't stop you from having a good fuck.” The mechanic smirked. 

***

The big explosion made everyone run outside, scared of what was to come. Even though the alliance had brought peace, people on the Ark had gone through enough to get scared at the smallest of things. 

Clarke ran outside with the others, eyes scanning the crowd for the brunette that had left her bed that morning to never be seen again. The blonde was surprised to find Lexa wearing goggles and a smile next to Raven who laughed with her arms up in the air. Both of their faces were dirty with soot. 

“That was so dope!” Raven shouted. 

“Can we do it again?” Lexa smiled. 

“Hell yeah!” 

“Hell no!” Abby approached them along with Clarke. “Stop blowing things up, Raven. You scared everyone.” 

“It was my fault chancellor Griffin.” Lexa stepped in, goggles now hanging around her neck. Clarke couldn't help but laugh at how cute she looked. “I was the one who asked Raven to make something bigger go 'boom’”.

Raven looked at Lexa and smirked. The way the commander kept saying make things go 'boom' for not knowing the proper words made her laugh every time. 

“Well, don’t do that again.” Abby rolled her eyes and walked away as the crowd started to dissipate. 

“Stop corrupting my…” Clarke stopped her words, almost calling Lexa her girlfriend. Raven just acted like she didn't realize that. Clarke and Lexa were too naive to think no one would catch that something more was going on. “The commander.”

“I won't corrupt your…” Raven paused, mocking Clarke. “The commander. But the others might. We are having a little get together tonight at the mess hall, the delinquents back together. Monty said he just made his best moonshine ever. Please tell me you’ll come.”

“I’m not sure.” Clarke mumbled. Lexa wasn't into parties and she couldn't exactly handle her alcohol. 

“Please!” Raven whined, knowing that it would be her best chance at finding out what was going between Clarke and Lexa. She used to say that every time Monty’s moonshine would get in the truth would come out, among other things, that is. 

“I’d like to go, Clarke.” Lexa stated, surprising Clarke. “I’d like to know more about your culture. I believe I should participate every chance I get.”

“Okay…” Clarke said unsure. “We’ll see you tonight.”

“Thanks for the teachings, Raven.” Lexa nodded before walking away with Clarke like a trained puppy.

“Anytime, commander heart eyes.” Raven said to herself with a smirk.

***

“Sorry in advance. My friends can be a little intense.” Clarke warned, using the lack of people on the hallway to walk hand in hand with her girlfriend. 

“I’m sure you’ll protect me if it’s necessary.” Lexa smirked. 

“The great Heda needs protection? That’s new.” Clarke stopped on her tracks and faced Lexa, placing her arms around her neck.

“If you tell anyone I’ll have to punish you.” Lexa smirked, grabbing Clarke’s hips and pulling her closer. 

“I can’t wait for that.” The blonde grazed her lips against Lexa’s, teasing her. 

“Give me one good reason not to drag you back to our room right now.” Lexa almost growled into Clarke’s ear. 

Clarke scanner her brain, desperately looking for a reason to go to the party, but Lexa’s hands roaming down her body made it harder to think. 

“Moonshine!!!” Both girls pulled away, hearing Jasper’s scream. The boy ran down the hall and into a room. 

Both girls followed him, hands brushing against each other lightly before getting into the room and stepping away from each other. 

The delinquents were sitting in a circle, cups in hand and passing around the bottle of moonshine. Lexa and Clarke sat down side by side and filled their cups with the transparent liquid. Lexa took a sip, coughing lightly, getting used to the strong taste of alcohol. 

“I missed this.” Harper smiled “Everyone together without being scared.”

“You actually remember not being scared?” Octavia glared at Lexa. The commander had been the reason for them to feel scared at first place. Lexa might have saved them by having Skaikru as the 13th clan, but Octavia would never forget the friends she had lost and the lives taken on the TonDC bombing. 

“I remember the Unity Day at the dropship.” Harper smirked at Monty, who blushed slightly.

“That was actually fun.” Clarke smiled, remembering the few calm moments she had before Finn showed up. It turned out he was right all along; making peace with the grounders was always the best option.

“You know what’s fun ?” Raven smirked, the sound system she had placed together playing a dancing song. “Drinking games! I call truth or dare.”

“Seriously, Raven?” Bellamy rolled his eyes. “We are not fifteen.”

“But it’s fun!”

“What is truth or dare?” the commander asked, taking another sip from her drink. Lexa felt amazed at how fast she started to feel her head getting dizzy.

“It’s an awesome game!” Raven smiled widely. “We take turns asking each other if we choose truth or dare. If you choose truth you have to answer a question honestly, but if you choose dare you have to do something we tell you to. If you don’t want to do it or answer you have to take a drink. It’s easy.” the mechanic explained. She was the queen of truth of dare. Raven always managed to run away from all the weird dares and spicy question while making everyone look like idiots. That was the perfect opportunity to get under whatever was going on between Clarke and Lexa.

“I don’t know, Rae.” Clarke mumbled, knowing how competitive Lexa could get. She was the commander after all, she had been raised to win.

“It sounds interesting.” Lexa relaxed a little bit and leaned against the wall behind her. “And I am here to learn your culture. If that’s what the sky people do for fun, I believe I should try it.”

“Great! Let’s do it!” Raven clapped her hands excitedly and Clarke took a deep breath. That would not end well.

It started as truth or dare and developed into a Lexa versus Bellamy battle and Clarke was more than sure that that was Raven’s intentions from the beginning. It was innocent at first, or at least as innocent as truth or dare could be. They were having fun and even Lexa laughed. It was the first time that Clarke heard the commander laughing while there were other people around. The blonde thought about blaming it on the alcohol, but she was to amazed by the sound to care. 

Things started to get weird when Raven dared Clarke to let Bellamy use her for a body shot. She thought about declining it, but Clarke was never the one to walk away from a dare so she accepted it. It felt weird and uncomfortable. Bellamy’s mouth felt rough and aggressive, different from what she was used to with her girlfriend. Clarke could feel Lexa’s eyes burning holes through them, but what made her the most uncomfortable was Bellamy’s look of lust. She liked the boy, he was always there for her, but Bellamy was like the brother she never had.

Raven watched the scene in front of her with a smirk, but she wasn’t looking at Clarke and Bellamy; she was staring at the way Lexa held her cup with white knuckles and how her jaw tensed. The commander looked like a panther ready to kill. The hate had been planted, now Raven just needed to create some competition. It wasn’t hard. All it took was daring Lexa and Bellamy to a push up face off, after that the alcohol did its job and the game was completely forgotten.

“That was show off.” Harped laughed along with everyone else at how Bellamy fell face first on the floor after a good number of pushups and Lexa kept going after asking for Clarke to get on her back to make it harder. “But it was awesome.”

“Talk about getting your ass kicked.” Octavia laughed. She disliked Lexa, but she loved Bellamy’s loser face. 

“That means nothing.” Bellamy frowned. Lexa and Clarke sat down back to their places and Raven couldn’t help but notice how they tried to secretly intertwine their pinky fingers between their bodies. “Who does more pushups has nothing to do with fighting.”

“If you’re felling lucky…” Lexa smirked, standing up. Clarke’s eyes got wide. That wasn’t likely of Lexa to do. She wouldn’t fight against someone for nothing. 

“It’s not about luck, commander.” Bellamy growled, standing up and getting dangerously close to Lexa. “It’s about being a warrior.”

“Warrior?” Lexa smiled. “You are not a warrior, Bellamy. You are a child with a gun.”

The surprised noises and laughs that erupted made Bellamy’s face go red.

“That’s what we’ll see.” The boy mumbled and walked to the other side of the room, taking his shirt off. Lincoln stood up and went after him, sending Clarke a soft look. He knew she was worried, but not about Lexa. She had seen Lexa fight and knew she could easily kill Bellamy if she felt like it and that was the problem. She was worried about Bellamy.

“Don’t do this, Blake.” Lincoln warned.

“You trained me, Lincoln. You are Trikru’s best warrior.”

“But she is the commander. Lexa was already going to war when I started my training. Legends say that the natblidas learn how to hold a dagger before they learn how to walk.” Lincoln warned, worried about Octavia’s brother. 

“I’m not scared.”

“Well, you should be.”

On the other side of the room, Clarke tried to talk to Lexa as the brunette took off her flannel and shirt, staying only in some sort of sports bra and black jeans.

“Damn! Talk about commander hot stuff!” Raven shouted once Lexa took her shirt off.

“Lex, don’t do this.” Clarke whispered, trying hard not to get distracted by Lexa’s almost naked upper body. She could see the drunkenness in Lexa’s eyes. “This is stupid. You have to prove nothing.”

“But I need to show him not to disrespect the commander.” Lexa turned to Clarke and lowered her voice in almost a raspy growl. “And afterwards I will show you that you are mine.”

Clarke stepped away, defeated and felling the familiar sensation growing in her stomach with Lexa’s promise.

Bellamy stormed into Lexa’s direction, hands in front of his face as the commander just stood there casually, waiting for his movements to happen. The boy tried to punch the brunette, but Lexa just curved her upper body slightly, avoiding the contact. Bellamy tried to get to Lexa three more times and the commander avoided his fists easily without even moving her arms before punching her adversary on the throat. Bellamy feel to the floor, gasping for air.

“You don’t look like a warrior from up here.” Lexa looked down at Bellamy and Clarke couldn’t help but remember when the brunette had told her about mockery not being the product of a strong mind. It looked like drunk Lexa didn’t listened to her own advices. 

Bellamy stood up and threw himself against Lexa. The commander just grabbed his arm and twisted it. Bellamy’s body spun in the air before falling hard on the floor. Lexa just looked down at a groaning Bellamy before dressing up on her shirt and flannel again.

“I will go back to my quarters.” Lexa nodded her head. “It was fun to spend time with all of you. Excuse me.”

“Lex, wait.” Clarke called out, running after the commander. 

“You are such an idiot.” Octavia groaned, walking to her brother and helping him to stand up. “Did you really think you could beat the grounder’s commander? She was literally born to rule and kick ass.” 

“My pride was at stake, O.”

“And now it’s on the floor along with your dignity.” Murphy smirked, getting a glare from Bellamy. “Just confess you did it to impress Clarke so we can just move on.” 

“I don't need to impress Clarke.” Bellamy mumbled, trying to lie to himself. “We are just friends.” 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, Blake.” Raven smirked and stood up. “I’ll be right back.”

The mechanic walked down the hall as fast as she could trying to reach Clarke and the commander. Tough she wouldn't admit it, she felt a little guilty for pushing Lexa’s buttons. Whatever was happening between Heda and Wanheda had started with a friendship and Raven just hoped she hadn't ruined that. 

The brunette turned a corner and stopped in her tracks, mouth hanging open for a second before she smirked. 

Lexa had Clarke trapped against their bedroom door, one hand inside the blonde's pants and the other holding Clarke's head firmly in place by her hair as she sucked the younger girl’s pulse point. Clarke had her hands gripping firmly into Lexa’s hips and her mouth open in a moan of pure pleasure. 

“And they call Octavia the grounder pounder.” Raven smirked and walked away. 

***

Clarke had known jealous Lexa before and she had also known drunk Lexa, but she didn’t expect the drunk and jealous Lexa to be so intense. While the drunk commander would be completely submissive to Clarke, the jealous side of Lexa was dominant to say the least. When Clarke woke up the next day after the little reunion between the delinquents she felt every single inch of her body ache, her legs still felt like jelly and her throat felt dry from moaning so loud. She was sure not even the thick steel walls could hold in the way she had screamed Lexa’s name as the commander’s hands explored her body.

“You are mine, Clarke.” Lexa’s full lips had brushed against her ear. “You are mine and no one else.”

The sky girl tried to hold in her noises at the beginning as Lexa claimed her body to herself, but once the commander decided to use the secret weapon which she knew made the blonde go completely insane Clarke just lost it. If people hadn’t catch on what happened that night from Clarke’s moans they sure would be able to assume by how funny she would be walking for a few days after having Lexa’s finger’s so deep in both her pussy and ass but God, it was so worth it. 

She felt completely drained and the fact that Lexa was still there when she woke up told her that the brunette was equally tired. Clarke tried to sit without waking Lexa up, but it was useless. It was like the Commander always slept with one eye open and the blonde’s pain groans didn’t helped her case.

Clarke looked down at the brunette. Lexa groaned loudly and rubbed her face, making Clarke smirk. That was definitely due to Monty’s moonshine. Clarke had drank it one thousand times and every time she woke up it felt like the worst hangover ever. With her eyes still closed, Lexa pulled Clarke back down, lying on her chest while her long fingers traced random patterns in the blonde’s stomach.

“Someone is needy.” Clarke smirked. Lexa would normally be the big spoon or Clarke would be the one to lie on the brunette’s chest. The only times in which the roles reversed was when Lexa was tipsy from the whine or upset about something.

“Sorry about yesterday.” Lexa mumbled and Clarke shivered as she felt the brunette’s hot breath hitting her nipple. “I acted like a jealous child.”

“Lex, you gave me the best orgasms I have ever had. You don’t have to apologize.” the blonde smiled and scratched at Lexa’s scalp, making the brunette purr like a little cat.

Both girls fell into a comfortable silence. Clarke was almost falling asleep again when Lexa’s small and soft voice made her open her eyes.

“I like it in here.” Lexa mumbled.

“I know. My boobs are great as pillows.” Clarke smirked.

“Yes, they are.” The brunette smiled. “But I’m not talking about it. I’m talking about Arkadia. I like it in here, Clarke.” Lexa stood a little bit, just enough to be able to face Clarke. The sky girl looked at her girlfriend’s green eyes and waited for what was to come. Lexa didn’t like to talk about her feelings and Clarke didn’t push her, but she always made sure Lexa knew she was there to listen and comfort her if necessary. “My whole life I’ve been given titles. Natblida, Anya’s second, the commander’s most promising novitiate, Heda, the peace maker. I’ve never got to just be me. In here I’m just Lexa. Don’t get me wrong, I love being Heda. But it wasn’t until yesterday that I realized that I might love not being the commander as well.”

Clarke cupped the brunette’s cheeks and pecked her lips softly. She kind of knew how the commander felt. From the second Clarke stepped out of that dropship she had been given titles. Princess, leader, mountain slayer, Wanheda, ambassador… She had so many names that she often forgot how it felt like to just be Clarke Griffin, an eighteen years old girl who loved to help people, dream about the earth and draw landscapes. Clarke had dealt with that for some time now, but Lexa had been born under the promise of someday becoming commander. It shocked her that Lexa knew how to be anything else but Heda.

“You don’t have to feel guilty about it.” Clarke whispered, reading Lexa’s emotions way too easily. “You don’t have to stop being Heda to be yourself, Lexa. You can be both. You are both. You stopped the bloodshed, you made us the 13th clan, you helped me save my people and you saved me. You walk towards peace Lexa and that’s not something the previous commanders would do. That is you. It’s all you.” The blonde caressed Lexa’s back, making the commander open a small smile. “I didn’t fell in love with the commander, I feel in love with you, Alexandria kom trikru, but if you ever feel like running away from all that commanders duties and take a break you’ll always be welcome here in Arkadia and in my boobs.”

Lexa let out a shy laugh and Clarke swore to herself that that sound was a masterpiece.

“Thanks, Clarke.”

“Now, get up. I’m hungry.”

***

It’s been two weeks since Lexa had arrived Arkadia and things were nice and calm. Clarke and Lexa still hadn’t told anyone about their relationship, but it was obvious that Raven knew given her occasional comments about how she couldn’t sleep because her neighbors kept fucking all night. It didn’t took long for Clarke to realize that her and Lexa were Raven’s neighbors and it didn’t stopped them from being loud every time they had sex. Raven wasn’t dumb at all and Clarke knew that. If the mechanic hadn’t told anyone yet, she was sure that their secret was safe.

There was finally peace. They didn’t need to fight grounders and Kane had managed to get Triku and Skaikru closer with Indra’s help. Trikru would help them with the hunting and food and they would help them with medical support and anything related to technology and Clarke hoped it wasn’t just the calm before the storm. 

Octavia was braiding Clarke’s hair as she watched Lexa play soccer with a few kids with a smile on her face. Lexa loved kids and Clarke couldn’t help but dream about someday having a family with the commander. 

“So, you and Lexa, hum?” Octavia asked, taking advantage of her alone time with Clarke. She still didn’t trusted Lexa after the TonDC bombing, but Clarke was her friend and she couldn’t deny that the girl had sacrificed everything she knew to keep them safe. “Now it makes sense why you always backed her up.”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” Clarke lied miserably.

“Come on, Clarke. I’m not stupid. She looks at you like you are the sky’s last glowing star.” Clarke closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “And you look at her like she’s the earth’s last blooming flower.”

“You can’t tell anyone, O.” The blonde turned around to look at her friend. “It’s not safe. The twelve clans already had problems accepting us, if they found out the commander is sharing a bed with one of us…”

“They’ll start a war.” Octavia nodded. “I might not like Lexa, but I need to recognize that her actions indeed brought us peace.”

“I can’t lose her, O. I can’t lose anyone else.” Clarke mumbled, her voice getting caught in her throat.

Octavia smiled at Clarke. Every time she looked at the blonde she could she so much pain and sorrow. Clarke was used to carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders but when she was next to Lexa, Octavia could see it was almost like the commander could lift that weight and hold it for Clarke just so she could see the sky girl happy. Lexa reminded her of Lincoln somehow. Underneath the strong exterior there was a good and pure soul who loved endlessly. Lexa could be a bitch, but she wasn’t evil.

“Commander!” They all turned their heads to Lincoln’s direction. The man stood by the gate with to messengers from Polis. Lexa’ smile disappeared and she ran straight to the three men without thinking twice. 

“What is wrong?” Lexa asked as soon as she reached the messengers. 

“It’s Azgeda again. They are marching over Polis and saying that Arkadia is next.” Lincoln explained, anger clear in his face.

“I believed a truce was established with king Roan.” Lexa’s back stiffened and she raised her chin. Even though she was wearing simple Skaikru clothes she was visibly the commander.

“It isn’t king Roan, Heda.” One of the messengers explained. “A rebel group who was against the truce took over the throne. Ontaria kom Azgeda is now queen and she is ready to attack Polis, Arkadia and then kill you to take your place as commander.”

“Well, let her try.” Lexa growled and turned around, Lincoln following her close behind. “Gather the Skaikru council together and get your gear, Lincoln. You fight with them now and I need a general from each clan by my side.”

“Wait, Heda!” Lexa stopped in her tracks and turned around. “Me? One of your generals? Isn’t that risked? I’m still seen as a traitor.”

“As the commander I forgive you. You have shown your strength over and over Lincoln and now I need you in battle with me. Is that clear, general?”

“Yes, commander.” Lincoln nodded.

“What happened?” Octavia asked with Clarke standing next to her.

“We are going to war.”

***

It was like Clarke’s heart was stuck in her throat. She watched Lexa getting her horse ready from the distance. The commander was wearing her usual clothes and war paint and so was Lincoln. The blonde asked herself if Octavia was as worried for him as she was for Lexa. As the Skaikru ambassador Clarke had been at the council reunion in which Lexa explained their situation and she didn’t let pass her what the commander had said about Azgeda’s army. It was a small army compared to the coalition’s army, but the Azgeda warriors were ruthless, angry animals with an endless blood thirst.

“We won’t be able to defeat them without an strategy. Numbers are nothing when fighting against Azgeda.” Lexa explained walking around the reunion table in which they could see a huge map of the region. If Clarke wasn’t scared to death she would laugh at how funny it was to see Lexa on full commander mode while wearing a flannel and with her hair pulled back in a ponytail. “I’ll be marching back to Polis where I’ll reunite with my generals for a war meting and I’ll be sending one thousand warriors to join your army in case they decide to march over Arkadia first. I’m sure you’ll be able to count with your technology, but I suggest trenches behind Arkadia so they won’t surprise you. I doubt they’ll attack you first, I am Ontari’s target.”

“Then we should protect you. We can’t risk her getting what she wants. Lexa, if you die…” Clarke’s voice cracked a little bit with the thought. “If you die, the coalition breaks and we’ll fall into an endless war between clans.”

“I am aware, Clarke, but I can’t hide. Ontari is aiming where she knows hurts me the most. She’s aiming at my people and that includes Skaikru.” _And it also includes you._ Lexa thought. “Innocent people don’t need to die. I’ll try and talk her into a solo combat but I need my army in case she refuses.”

“We’ll send a few of our men’s with you.” Kane says. “You could use some guns. We are small at numbers, but we are strong too.”

“It’s decided then.” Lexa nodded. “We leave in two hours.”

Clarke wanted to hug Lexa, kiss her lips and beg her to stay, but she knew it was useless. Lexa had duties as the commander and she would never leave her people behind because Clarke asked her to. The blonde couldn’t even be next to her during the war cause she didn’t knew how to fight. That wasn’t like the fight against Mount Weather, that was a real war with warriors, guns, blood and piles of bodies on a open field.

The sky girl approached Lexa as soon as the gates opened. Lexa stared into Clarke’s blue eyes and the blonde was sure she saw fear into her green ones. Clarke didn’t think about the fact that everyone was looking at them. She didn’t cared that her mom and Kane were there and she couldn’t care less about her friends curious eyes. She placed a hand behind Lexa’s neck and pulled her in for a chaste kiss.

Lexa pulled away after a while and rested her forehead against Clarke’s.

“Ai hod yu in, Leksa.” Clarke whispered against the brunette’s soft and full lips.

“I love you too, Clarke.”

“May we meet again.”

“We will.” Lexa smiled slightly, stepping away from Clarke and jumping over her horse.

“Everything will be okay, honey.” Abby rested a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. That wasn’t the time to talk about her relationship with the commander but to comfort her scared daughter.

Clarke just took a deep breath and walked away, ignoring the judging stares.

***

For a whole month Clarke was kind of fine. Once a week a rider would be at their gates bringing two letters from Lexa; one for Kane talking about the war and one for Clarke in which Lexa would write sweet nothings that would make the blonde’s heart flutter and hurt with Lexa’s absence at the same time. At the second month Kane would receive an occasional rushed letter and on the third month the rider that carried the letters was never seen again.

The only thing that made Clarke be able to breath properly was the lack of the red smoke in the sky. That meant the commander was still alive, but it didn’t stopped the sky girl from staying up the whole night wondering if Lexa was okay and the way her people would constantly remind her about the brunette wasn’t helping. - Not like she would be able to stop thinking about Lexa while she was in danger, but still.

“At least no one is burning her alive.” Jasper spit at her.

“I’m not proud of what I did, okay?” Clarke snapped at the boy, sick about his behavior. “I’m really fucking sorry about Maia, Jasper but it was the only way. You wouldn’t be able to kill Cage even if you had a fucking flame thrower so stop blaming me for being the one who did something actually usefull for our people! Lexa is at war and she could die any second! I have enough in my head already for you to keep on acting like a little bitch so give me a fucking break!” 

Jasper and the delinquents stared at Clarke with their mouths open. Clarke never snapped, she was the one who would ask for forgiveness and accept the consequences, but she was tired. God, it felt like she hand’t slept for ages. 

Clarke just left her shocked friends and went for a walk.

***

“You got to be kidding me.” Clarke chuckled humorlessly. The bags under her eyes were almost hitting the floor. She shouldn’t be in a council meeting, she should be trying to rest even though she knew it would be impossible with Lexa’s complete absence for what she believed was the start of the fourth month. Was that how Lexa had felt when she had gone missing for three months living as a grounder? If Lexa got back she had to ask her for forgiveness.

“It’s one of our best options at peace if Azgeda wins the war.” Kane explained. “Indra told me that the marriage alliance is still really respected between Grounders. Azgeda is strong but if the news that Heda and Wanheda have joined in love spread there won’t be one grounder to oppose you. The commander and the commander of death are seen almost as goddess.”

“Kane, just shut up.” Clarke massaged her temples trying not to snap at the man like she had with Jasper. “Azgeda isn’t the only clan that hates us. Lexa will be seen as a traitor and the ice nation will get allies, not enemies.” 

“I have talked to the ambassadors of the other clans. They agree that this will only make the coalition stronger. It will show not only strength and acceptance, but it will scare the enemies. Lexa didn’t have to kill Wanheda to command death. She did better. She conquered death, controlled it, made it her subject.”

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” the blonde turned to her mother with tired eyes.

“Lexa is not my first choice as a daughter in law, but Kane is right.”

“That’s exactly why Lexa didn’t wanted to tell anyone, she knew this would happen. She knew people would take advantage of our relationship…”

“We are not taking advan…”

“First of all,” Clarke interrupted Kane, annoyed by the whole conversation. “this is stupid. I’m not going to marry Lexa just because you want me to, even though I love her. Second, this idea is stupid and you are dumb for trusting Lexa’s ambassadors. They hate her and who’s to say they are not on Azgeda’ side?”

“Clarke, listen…”

“No, you listen Kane. We are not your bargain chips, we are humans. If I am to marry her is because we both want it, not because you told us to.” Clarke took a deep breath and looked between the members of the council. “I can’t deal with this right now.”

“And I’m her girlfriend,” Clarke turned around before leaving. “not her subject.”

***

“How do you do this, O?” Clarke sat next to Octavia in front of the fire one night, a cup full of moonshine in her hands. “How do you manage not to freak out while Lincoln is at war?”

“Who said I’m not freaking out?” Octavia smiled sadly. “He told me he would be back and I trust him, that’s all. Lincoln is a great warrior and so is Lexa.”

“It’s been four months, O. I just wanted to hear if she’s okay.” The blonde looked down and took a deep breath. “My dad, Wells, Finn… I don’t think I would be able to go through this once again.”

“You won’t have to.” Octavia placed an arm around Clarke’ shoulders. “Because Lexa loves you and she’ll always find a way to come back to you.”

“I hope so.”

***

The blonde groaned and rolled around in her bed, annoyed by the constant knocking on her door. It was the first sleep she had in a week and she didn’t felt like being interrupted by whatever was happening. Clarke tried to muffle the sounds around her with the pillow that was already free of Lexa’ smell.

“Clarke, wake up!” The knocking kept on going. “Clarke, it’s Lexa!”

Clarke’s eyes shot open and she stood up, going straight to the door. It was only when she stepped outside and the cold air hit her legs that the blonde realized that she was wearing nothing but boxers and an oversized t-shirt, but the sight of Lexa walking through the gates on her horse erased everything that was happening around her.

Lexa got off her horse and stood there, staring at Clarke in the distance with a smile. The sky girl started running towards her and the commander did the same, meting each other halfway in a tight and needy hug. Lexa felt home.

“I told you we would met again.” Lexa whispered against Clarke’s lips after a long but innocent kiss. “I will always be with you, Clarke. Always.”

“If Azgeda tries to break the coalition again I will bitch slap Roan myself.”

“Because you sure look intimidating.” Lexa laughed, looking down at what Clarke was wearing. 

“I was excited to see you.” Clarke smiled, shivering from the cold morning air.

Lexa smiled and took off her shoulder pad, giving it to one of her assistants. The brunette then took off her long commander coat and placed it around Clarke’ shoulders, getting a shocked gasp from the grounders around her. 

“Commander!” Kane greeted with a smile. “We need to discuss…”

“Not now, Kane.” Lexa raised her hand, stopping the man. “Everything is under control and I have other matters to take care of. I’ll summon a council meeting as soon as possible.”

Lexa placed her arm around Clarke’s waist and guided her back into the Ark.

“Did you just choose me before your duties?” Clarke smirked.

“As I said, everything is under control and I miss my girlfriend.” Lexa smiled and pressed Clarke against their bedroom door. “And if I remember correctly I did promised to treat your needs as my own.”

Lexa leaned in and kissed Clarke deeply, tongues dancing together and hands getting lost in each other’s bodies, eager to touch everything they could. 

“I missed you so much.” Clarke whispered after breaking the kiss for air.

“I missed you too, Clarke.”

“Come on!” Raven's annoyed voice called both girls attentions. “Don’t tell me I’ll have to sleep with ear protectors again!”

“Sorry, Reyes.” Clarke smirked before disappearing into her room behind Lexa.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you guys liked it and please comment, I love hearing what you have to say.


End file.
